People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Use this quote
We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things. Use this quote
The word 'Spanx' was funny. It made people laugh. No one ever forgot it. Use this quote
I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink. Use this quote
If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. Use this quote
People just don't laugh when their family is violated, and you don't shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It's a funny, primitive instinct. Use this quote
But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that. Use this quote
I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations. Use this quote
People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny. Use this quote
I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet. Use this quote
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. Use this quote
My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him. Use this quote
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Use this quote
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. Use this quote
What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating. Use this quote
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. Use this quote
As I get older, I just prefer to knit. Use this quote
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. Use this quote
I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the funny kids. Use this quote
I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand. Use this quote
