The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims. Use this quote
Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. Use this quote
The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it. Use this quote
You know, if you play on home soil sometimes funny things can happen and you have that push of the crowd. Use this quote
It's funny how the hippies and the punks tried to get rid of the conservatives, but they always seem to get the upper hand in the end. Use this quote
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. Use this quote
I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film. Use this quote
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Use this quote
I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am. Use this quote
People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas. Use this quote
No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.' Use this quote
I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. Use this quote
On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away. Use this quote
As I get older, I just prefer to knit. Use this quote
One picture is worth 1,000 denials. Use this quote
It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks. Use this quote
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. Use this quote
I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink. Use this quote
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. Use this quote
I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet. Use this quote
