Famous Quotes: Funny

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.
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Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
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It's funny, when bands or younger musicians ask me: 'So, what does it take to make it?' Well, first explain to me what you mean by 'making it': Do you want to be a rock star or do you want music to be your livelihood?
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By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
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I don't think I'm funny.
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If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
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I'm doing a very funny show in which we talk about issues. I speak at Aids charities and things. It's great to do something fun with our days and yet we're told we're doing something important.
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When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful.
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I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film.
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Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names.
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Most of the gaffes I've made have not been funny - they've been stupid.
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I'd like to do a film which is funny.
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Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
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Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it.
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It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing.
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Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
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I'm not funny. What I am is brave.
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I recently spent quite a bit of time in Sheffield, England, which is where I'm from. I wouldn't move back there, but it's funny when you spend a bit of time in the place where you were brought up. You kind of realize how that place has had quite a big effect on you or made you a certain way.
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All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
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