When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. Use this quote
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. Use this quote
Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. Use this quote
The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't. Use this quote
It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have. Use this quote
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. Use this quote
I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he doing? Use this quote
It's funny how making odd noises can get you into strange situations sometimes. Use this quote
I think a lot of times on TV we see caricatures - that's what's funny. Use this quote
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Use this quote
Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names. Use this quote
Never put a sock in a toaster. Use this quote
We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. Use this quote
Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny. Use this quote
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny. Use this quote
It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything. Use this quote
The superfluous, a very necessary thing. Use this quote
It's upsetting that it is such a big deal. I wish it weren't an issue all the time. It's funny that people say it's a departure, because I've been acting since I was a child. I've played three gay roles out of hundreds. Use this quote
I read a lot of scripts that I just don't find very funny. Use this quote
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. Use this quote
