Famous Quotes: Funny

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
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Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
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Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing.
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The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
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I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around.
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My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
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I'm so single. It's funny. I'm usually a relationship girl. I love being in love and having a partner in crime. But it's good to be your own partner in crime. God, that makes me sound like I have multiple-personality disorder.
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If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
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I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.
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I auditioned for a solo in church and got it. I was about seven and I sang a song called, 'Jesus, I Heard You Had a Big House' and I remember people standing up at the end and me thinking, 'Oh, I think I'm going to like this.' That's how it all began. Sounds funny to say you got your start in church, but I did.
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If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to.
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I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.
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I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies.
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I love New York. I was sad, depressed and incredibly moved by our fellow countrymen and what they've done. I wanted to give people a chance to see something funny, have a distraction.
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He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
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This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!
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I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
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It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.
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I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
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