I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people. Use this quote
It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up. Use this quote
I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up. Use this quote
I was not particularly bright, I wasn't very athletic, I was a little too tall, odd, funny looking, I was just really weird as a kid. Use this quote
If you are a great dramatic actor then you often don't know if people are enjoying your stuff at all because they are sitting there in silence. But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't. Use this quote
I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny. Use this quote
As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted. Use this quote
So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes. Use this quote
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. Use this quote
In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They're short, they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article. Use this quote
One man's folly is another man's wife. Use this quote
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. Use this quote
I like all Jim Carrey films. They're really funny. Use this quote
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. Use this quote
Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar. Use this quote
I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people. Use this quote
It is funny what a year can do. Use this quote
When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny. Use this quote
It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. Use this quote
I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he doing? Use this quote
