I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Use this quote
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. Use this quote
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. Use this quote
I actually find novels that are determined to be funny at every turn quite oppressive. Use this quote
I watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting. Use this quote
One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy's restroom and she wasn't embarrassed at all. Use this quote
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. Use this quote
My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him. Use this quote
I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet. Use this quote
I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell? Use this quote
But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know. Use this quote
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of. Use this quote
A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. Use this quote
It's upsetting that it is such a big deal. I wish it weren't an issue all the time. It's funny that people say it's a departure, because I've been acting since I was a child. I've played three gay roles out of hundreds. Use this quote
One lion thinks it's just hilarious to tackle us. He's very funny about it... and we always know when it will happen. Use this quote
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. Use this quote
Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. Use this quote
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average. Use this quote
I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny. Use this quote
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. Use this quote
