Famous Quotes: Funny

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
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A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
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Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.
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You see much more of your children once they leave home.
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I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
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I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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Most of the gaffes I've made have not been funny - they've been stupid.
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I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
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It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.
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It's funny, after a while, you get tired of having to fight someone because they don't like the way you look.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
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It sounds funny, but the 2008 Olympics were something that just kind of happened, and I was lucky they came at a point when I was uninjured and well prepared. As a gymnast, you can't ask for much more.
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One man's folly is another man's wife.
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We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross.
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'Funny People' is my favorite performance of myself to date. Even though it's a comedy and there are serious moments, I really felt like Leo felt like a real person. It didn't feel like I was playing myself. Whether it's a comedy or drama, I just try to make it as realistic as possible.
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