Famous Quotes: Funny

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
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If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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It's funny that there was so much disturbance about having a Catholic in the White House with Kennedy, and when we finally get a religion in the White House that's causing a lot of conflicts, and concerns, and disturbances for a lot of people, it's in the Bush Administration.
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I love New York. I was sad, depressed and incredibly moved by our fellow countrymen and what they've done. I wanted to give people a chance to see something funny, have a distraction.
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I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film.
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
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I read a lot of scripts that I just don't find very funny.
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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
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The commentary track became a lot like the movie and there are some funny, long, awkward pauses that you can tell we're just trying to find stuff to say. None of us had gotten to really talk about the movie until that moment and they were in New York and we were in L.A.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I'm not on all the time. I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.
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You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.
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It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
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You, the actor, must be aware of when you're being funny, but the character you're playing should always be oblivious to the fact.
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You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.
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If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.
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Funny is funny is funny.
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