I wish I had the nerve not to tip. Use this quote
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. Use this quote
It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless. Use this quote
I think it's so funny when people think they can't control a movie star. They can. We're just women, you know. Use this quote
I don't think I'm funny. Use this quote
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. Use this quote
I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to go to the bathroom, I don't have anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine, so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body. Use this quote
People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. Use this quote
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Use this quote
My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. Use this quote
I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line. Use this quote
It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. Use this quote
People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny. Use this quote
I'm not funny. What I am is brave. Use this quote
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Use this quote
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. Use this quote
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. Use this quote
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. Use this quote
It's upsetting that it is such a big deal. I wish it weren't an issue all the time. It's funny that people say it's a departure, because I've been acting since I was a child. I've played three gay roles out of hundreds. Use this quote
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money? Use this quote
