People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. Use this quote
I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys. Use this quote
I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion. Use this quote
Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. Use this quote
Be obscure clearly. Use this quote
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. Use this quote
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did. Use this quote
I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. Use this quote
So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit. Use this quote
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. Use this quote
Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny. Use this quote
To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal. Use this quote
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. Use this quote
In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They're short, they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article. Use this quote
I put on a big show when I write something I think is funny. Use this quote
I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny. Use this quote
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Use this quote
Sometimes I feel like there are people just waiting for me to fall. The funny thing is, I can't give them anything. I have just never been a partier, even in school. Use this quote
It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. Use this quote
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. Use this quote
