Famous Quotes: Funny

I try not to name too many labels - not because it's not cool, but because it starts getting political.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.
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I got pregnant at 40 by surprise. It's funny, because when we found out we were pregnant, I said, 'Okay, let's experience that.' You just have to just go with it because it's rare.
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Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny.
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Unless it's a specific accent, or something about physicality you have to change, I am generally not such a conscious actor.
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We are all sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life.
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My dad was a tyrant. He used to physically beat the crap out of us.
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The U.K. needs a system for family migration underpinned by three simple principles. One: that those who come here should do so on the basis of a genuine relationship. Two: that migrants should be able to pay their way. And three: that they are able to integrate into British society.
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I'm a hopeless romantic and passionate person when it comes to love.
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The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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Even when I'm old and grey, I won't be able to play it, but I'll still love the game.
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Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
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I think you go through a period as a teenager of being quite cool and unaffected by things.
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Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
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One of the more noble things the Oscars can do is pay attention to movies no one knows about. Blockbusters don't need much help.
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Americans are free to choose everything from what they eat, drive and watch on TV to the President of the United States. Yet, when it comes to allowing Americans to choose the health insurance that works best for them and their family, the freedom to choose suddenly becomes un-American.
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If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?
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To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off.
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