Famous Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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