Famous Adam Carolla Quotes

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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